About the Book:
Tormented while growing up for being dark-skinned, and the son of a womanizer who deserts his family regularly, Ken Ferguson longed for that feeling of being loved. Ken promised himself that he wouldn’t be a manipulating, deceitful man like his father, but after being cheated on and dumped by the girl he thought he would one day marry, he begins his transformation. Fueled by anger, and tired of being the “nice guy”, Ken drowns himself in one-night stands, threesomes, affairs with married women, and sleeping with one conquest after another. He adopts the philosophy of having no commitment and no attachments, but meets his match with Ashley, a girl that makes him want to stop his promiscuous ways. But Ashley turns out to do even more damage to his ego and his heart, wounding him deeply. With his philosophy reinforced, Ken spirals out of control and becomes a MONSTER. Sleeping with and mistreating random women he meets at bars and clubs, Ken uses sex to forget about his insecurities, his anger, and his sadness. Will Ken learn to let go of his heartbreaks, or will he be consumed by them and continue to be a MONSTER?
The head board is hitting the wall in my bedroom. Loud moans, heavy breathing, and sounds of the bed creaking are permeating the room. I’m in a trance. Krissy is experiencing both ecstasy, and pain as I’m doing her doggie style. With each thrust I wanted to go through her. I wanted her to feel the pain that I was feeling. The whole time, all I could think about was Ashley. Every thrust, I wanted to kill the weakness that I felt. I wanted to callous that soft spot in my heart that I had for her. Krissy tried to turn her head to look at me, but I pulled her by her hair. I didn’t want to be looked at. I couldn’t even look at myself right now.
“Oh my god Ken, Oh my …”
Krissy came, and cursed loudly. I pumped away, harder and faster until I came. We lay in the bed together panting.
“Are you ok?”
“I… I just worry about you. You scare me sometimes.”
“I know there’s something on your mind. You weren’t with me. I mean you were with me in the physical sense, but you weren’t with me mentally, emotionally. What’s wrong?”
“I…I’m fine. I got a couple things stressing me out, but nothing I can’t handle. I’ll be alright.”
“Kenny you know you can talk to me about anything right?”
“Well I’m here for you. You can tell me anything.”
I didn’t doubt that she would listen to my problems and be that sympathetic ear for me to vent to, but I didn’t want someone to vent to. I needed more. I needed to escape. I slept with more women. With each one I was able to forget about my insecurities, my anger, my sadness, each new woman that I touched gave me a sense of power, and control. Even if it were only temporary, that feeling of euphoria that I got from pleasing them made me feel loved. While I had the pretend feeling of love, it didn’t hide the fact that the hole in my heart that Bri and Ashley had left from hurting me was getting bigger and bigger. Nothing was filling it or making it better. I preyed on women who were beautiful yet materialistic, because at least I knew what I was going into. They were using me, and I was using them. I would go to bars, and clubs, wear my Armani outfits, dangle my car keys, and watch as dumb materialistic women would flock to me. I would screw some of them in the back seat of my car or in the bathrooms of the places I met them.
Meet The Author
Ben Burgess Jr is the author of the new novel "Monster" and the author of the poetry book "Times Have Changed and Life is Strange" He is an active performer of spoken word poetry. Ben Burgess Jr uses his love of writing to inspire and influence youths to strive for what they believe in, and to never give up on their dreams. His poetry book "Times Have Changed and Life is Strange" is currently used in two schools in the lower east side of Manhattan. Ben Burgess has a BA degree in Business Management, and a MA degree in Educational Leadership. He is the proud father of his daughter Jaelynn and is active in trying to improve urban neighborhoods and communities.